Besides lovemaking and singing in the shower self-delusional ability and actual ability than in poker

Besides lovemaking and singing in the shower, there aren’t many human activities where there is a greater difference between a person’s self-delusional ability and actual ability than in poker

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You can't bluff someone who's not paying attention

Most of the money you’ll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents

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Played Strip Poker Quite a Few Times

During our brief relationship, we played strip poker quite a few times. ..... would have the chance to make fun of me and tell stories about me

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Poker is Like Sex Everyone Thinks They're The Best

Poker is like sex - everyone thinks they're the best, but most people don't have a clue what they're doing.

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Poker Cat bringing the lulz

The most famed scenes in any casino clip would definitely be the throwing down of cards on the table by the successful player, followed by him pulling all the chips towards himself, grinning like a Cheshire cat! That is Poker! The dictionary definition of Poker is a game of cards involving two or more players in which bets are placed, money exchanges hands and lady luck rewards valuable hands. Poker is essentially a collective term given to any game of cards which involves betting. There are many variants to the game and popular variants include, straight poker(the grandfather of all poker), stud poker (which involves a 7 card play) and Draw poker(where unwanted cards are allowed to be disposed off and new cards drawn.) All poker cards are given rankings. Higher the ranks, higher the chances of winning. A flush occurs when all 5 cards in hand are of the same type, i.e. heart, spade, club or diamonds. A straight flush is when they are of the same type as well as sequential order. Four of a kind occurs when a person has 4 of the cards from a type, similar to say for three of a kind, and two of a kind. A full house is when a person possesses 3 cards of a type and the other 2 of another type. A high card occurs when, none of the cards are from the same suit. That is honestly the worst state of positions a person can get and the winner is determined through the value of the highest "high card". Now, before a person can start playing poker, he should know the basic rules that govern this game. Different forms of poker are governed by different rules and traits. These are hence covered below. Straight poker, also known as the grandfather of all poker, is a no-nonsense form of poker. Each player draws a hand of 5 cards once and they start betting. This game usually ends the quickest. In stud poker, every player gets to pick 7 cards up. From this 7 cards, he chooses and makes his hand of 5 cards on which bets are placed. Draw poker is a game in which players are allowed to "throw away" or exchange undesirable cards for a random new card in order to make the best possible hand of 5 cards to bet upon. Community poker, which is a major online poker game, is played by having each player be given an incomplete hand of cards. They are then supposed to complete their hand of cards by choosing from "community" cards whose values are visible to all the players. Upon completion of hand, bets are placed.

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What if they weren't Poker Players?

Phil Hellmuth as a jewellery shop owner. He has a strange obsession with all the gold bracelets pictured behind him. One Customer reported his unwillingness to let one of his precious 11 go. He then stroked them and whispered "My Precious". Hellmuth's 11 Gold Bracelets were then reported missing closely followed by Phil himself Thought to be in pursuit of his bracelets, Phil was forgotten about for three years. Three years on during the world series of poker main event a mysterious creature appeared in the Amazon room wearing an Ultimate Bet hat and a "Precious" gold bracelet. It is thought, this creature is a mutilated version of Phil after three years of longing for gold bracelets took it's toll on him. It had taken over his body. He was thought to be in pursuit of the one bracelet to rule them all. The 2008 Main Event Bracelet. The creature was then taken into custody by police and was reported to be letting out large screeches while being hauled away. In a statement released by police. The creature admitted to being Hellmuth, The best No Limit Hold'em player in the world, He also stated that he could dodge bullets baby. Upon being released, He told one officer he couldnt even spell poker and proceeded to call everyone a donk on the way out of the building.

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Doctor Surgeon Plays Poker

A brain surgeon receives a phone call from a colleague on a Saturday night. "We need another poker player for tonight" the friend says. "I'll be there right away!" the doctor replies with a sense of urgency. As he puts on his coat and makes his way out the door his wife asks him "Is it serious?" and the doctor replies "Oh, very! There are 3 other doctors already there!"

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Poker and the Stock Market

I was out of town this weekend. After visiting my relatives and friends in the province, I traveled back to the newest casino, the Resort World where I was staying for the night. I don't consider myself a gambler and have never enjoyed losing money at the tables. When I do gamble, my preferred games have always been craps and blackjack. Until recently, I had never played at a poker table in a casino environment but I enjoy the game of poker and have only played in backyard and basement games with old buddies. Many people consider the game of poker pure luck but this is not an accurate observation. Many factors run parallel with the game of poker and the game of stock market investing. Luck may play a part but rules, odds and money management are the largest components of the two entities. When investing in the stock market, it is essential to have a sound set of rules or a system that has been tested in real time, no back testing or historical testing needed. After the system has been tested, the investor needs to follow rules in order to preserve capital and cut losses. The investor must also consider the odds of his/her stock making a gain or making a loss. Price objectives and targets should be a large part of every investor's system. With proper money management and calculated expectancy, the investor should aim to trade only in situations where the odds are in his/her favor. In a strong bull market, it may not be wise to start shorting many stocks; the odds of making a big gain with this strategy could be very low. Another major component that works its way into investing is psychology and/or human emotion. Stocks are made up of human character traits, similar to the type of people that own them. Some stocks are risky and volatile while other stocks are conservative and predictable. The market repeats cycles and specific chart patterns because humans repeat their actions and character tendencies. Now, back to the poker table; as I sat down and started to play, my first goal was to become familiar with the character traits of the players around me. With 10 players at the table, I had plenty of time to evaluate the people I was playing with, without risking a great deal of money. After several rounds of play, I was aware that the gentleman to my right would only bet high odd hands and would fold every other hand. He was very edgy and nervous and folded his cards with force when he was angry. The gentleman to the left would also play hands with high odds but I did see him call bets with some hands that were risky with lower odds. One gentleman across the table was the bluffer and always had a smirk on his face with a pair of dark glasses. I challenged this man on several occasions and paid to see his cards because I felt he had nothing. More times than not, I was right and still beat him with an average hand. I could go on but you understand the point I am trying to make: all poker players and investors bring their emotions to the table. I won't get into the exact rules of playing poker but I can tell you that only two players are required to bet per round while the other eight can view their first two cards without risking a cent. My game of choice is Texas Hold'em, the current craze across the country and one that excites me when I am in the environment. The two players required to bet represent the big and small blinds. If you are the dealer or anoy other players at the table, you can view your first two cards for free without an bet. If the hand is weak, you can fold and keep your gambling stake. Here is where it gets interesting; if I have a decent hand, I can decide to call the larger blind and see the next three cards on the flop, which is still a low risk investment. If the flop doesn't provide me with the cards I need, I can immediately cut my losses short by folding and wait for the next game. The same is true in investing; I can cut a loss short and wait for the next opportunity without risking the farm if I realize an immediate loss. If the cards are good and my probabilities of winning the hand are high, I can call the bet or raise the bet. A fourth and fifth card (the turn and the river) are placed on the table after the flop and betting continues with each round. Again, I can decide if I would like to call, raise or cut my losses short. The connection I am trying to make with investing in the stock market and playing poker relates directly to cutting losses short (capital preservation and money management) and my odds of winning the game (in the stock market this could be called expectancy). In my opinion, the best game to play at the casino is $1-$2 no limit style. This means that the blinds are held to a minimum and it will only cost you a couple of dollars to see the flop in many cases. The "no-limit" aspect allows your upside potential to be unlimited which carries through to investing. If you cut losses short and ride your winner, the up-side potential in investing can also be unlimited, especially when using options (but that is for another discussion). Last night, I could see my first two cards for free, eight out of every ten hands and I could fold if they were no good. If they were good, I put money on the table after my idea. In the real world, the world of stock investing, you should always put money after your best ideas. The ensuing gain or loss will tell you if you are right. Again, for the umpteenth time in this article, the most important part of both games is cutting losses short and moving on without mixing emotions into the decisions. All investors and poker players bring emotions to the table, some people control them better while other people employ better systems and understand the odds on a higher level. The bottom line is to understand the situation around you and to use a sound system to raise your odds. Never bet a hand that represents a low chance of winning and never ride a loss that could multiply overnight. Cut losses short and get out of the game and wait for the next opportunity because they are always around the corner.

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Convert Facebook Poker Chips

In the short term, Facebook texas holdem poker is mainly a game of luck. Over the course of a few hands or even a few dozen hands even the worst player can hit a streak and win a few million Facebook poker chips, but to consistently and reliably win in the long term requires a whole other set of skills and principles that most beginner players simply do not possess and most advanced players sometimes forget. Here are a few key points to keep in mind next time you sit down at the tables to win a few Facebook poker chips

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Learn Why Hologram Sunglasses Are So Popular With Poker Players

There are many types of hologram sunglasses that are popular with poker players. The reason for this is that these kinds of sunglasses totally disguise the eyes and leave the other poker players wondering about your next move. When you watch a poker tournament on TV you will notice that some of the players will have hologram sunglasses on their eyes. This has become a fashion statement with many players everywhere. They love sporting these types of sunglasses when they play. You may wonder why all the poker players are wearing sunglasses where the light is dim. It is a way to emulate their players. There are some good reasons why these are so popular with many players. Many players use their sunglasses to trick the other players at times. If a person wears sunglasses the other players cannot see their eyes than they cannot figure out the next move from reading their eyes. Hologram sunglasses are also worn to intimidate the other players. When the other players can't see the persons expression than they don't know what the next move will be. Some people just like to wear hologram sunglasses because they are stylish and some of them are funny to look at. This distracts the other players at the table. These tinted glasses can be as intimidating as a blank stare would be to other poker players. Wearing these shades can protect against possible tells with the eyes covered. It is hard to read the other player with a pair of these glasses on their eyes. They can hide their eyes while at the poker table and keep everyone wondering. These are some good reasons for wearing them but there are also some negative things you should know about wearing hologram sunglasses. First of all when you put these sunglasses on it makes your entire environment dark and sometimes hard to see things. While playing you have to see everything clearly especially your cards and there is no room for mistakes in this game. If you decide to wear sunglasses at the table than you have to know that there are some disadvantages in doing this along with some good advantages. If you wear hologram sunglasses at the poker table you should know that the darkness of the tint on your glasses can lead to not being able to see very well while you are playing the game. Sometimes players that do not wear these sunglasses have an advantage while playing. But you will always seem to see some funny players wearing these shades. This has become their trademark and they enjoy the way they look and the sneaky way that these glasses make them feel while playing. If you play poker you must decide if you want to wear hologram sunglasses and if it will help you with your game. If wearing these types of sunglasses help you to play a better game than you can wear a pair when playing.

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How to Have a Great Sense of Humor - And Make Others Want To Be With You

Do you often catch yourself not laughing at something the rest of your group finds funny? Are you not able to conjure up laughter from friends and colleagues at the workplace? There could be something wrong with your sense of humor. It's too early to conclude, but your friends might be finding that being with you is a bore. If you think this applies to you, then you must do something about it now, before people start avoiding you at the lunch pantry or making up excuses not to sit with you on the poker table. Humor is one's capacity to bring about feelings of merriment in other people. It is a well-entrenched aspect of entertainment and communication and is very normal to everyday life. A person with a great sense of humor can laugh by himself and elicit laughter from other people by using, among others, one's experience, everyday situations, and funny devices as objects. A person exhibiting a great sense of humor is usually a fun person to be with. Sharing funny jokes and lifting the mood in any gathering serve as trademarks of those with fantastic jest meters. This is why more people prefer to be in their company. Anybody who welcomes the break from boredom and who craves for respite from the daily hustle and bustle of life will do well to nurture a great sense of humor. While a sense of humor can provide an aura of fellowship and sociability most of the time, it can, however, displace some people, particularly the sensitive ones, when not properly presented or manifested. The following are important tips to hone your sense of humor. Read on before you crack a joke. Start With Your Environment  Foster an atmosphere of humor in your life and relationships. Always direct attention to the amusing and hilarious aspects of your life. The laughter that these occurrences and things can bring will be your ticket to developing a greater sense of humor. Sooner or later, you will find out that you are capable of seeing humor in everything that you see and do. Be With the Right Crowd  So you do not laugh very much. In fact, you feel grumpy most of the time. However, you've heard about the many benefits of laughter; hence, you want to attain a great sense of humor. Begin sharpening your laugh factor by hanging around with people who are witty and humorous. As much as possible, always go to places where you and your friends can have amusement and fun. Timing Is Of the Essence  You might sometimes feel that you are oozing with excellent sense of humor that you think you can breeze through any application as a clown in your local carnival. But if you pop out your funny side without considering the timing, you might end up like a self-indulged rock star without a fan. It is, therefore, important to pace yourself before sharing your sense of humor to other people. It is a good strategy to let someone else start clowning around before you stick in your own brand of funnies. This way, you are sure that everybody in your group is in the mood for fun. Use yourself as a Guinea Pig The safest way to infuse a joke is to aim the joke at yourself. This scheme will make sure that you do not hurt anybody's feelings. If you cannot make fun of yourself in front of a group, try your best, instead, to make fun of the situations and the surroundings your group is in to avoid getting someone offended.

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Playing Poker Online - How to Have Fun Without Being Scammed

Playing poker online can be a scary experience for some people. There are a lot of scams that are being conducted everyday on the internet and you do not want to be involved in one. The best way to ensure that you won't be taken in by a scammer is to research where you will be playing poker online. This is a great first step in your research process; these sites are trusted by players all over the world, take a look and see if any are for you. Party Poker is the world's largest online poker website with over 70,000 players online. Party Poker is fully licensed and regulated by the Government of Gibraltar and uses the PartyGaming system which as been independently tested for security, reliability, and fairness of play. The popular online poker room also takes extra steps to prevent fraud and collusion. When signing up for PartyPoker.com, use the bonus code DEPOSITMATCH to receive a 20% match on your initial deposit, up to $100 for free. Paradise Poker is a premier online poker site. This is a site where there are always multi-player events happening and even a novice poker player will be able to find some sort of stakes game to enter. People have mentioned that this poker site has the most pleasing graphics mostly because it is not crowded with all sorts of unnecessary icons. Poker Stars is known to never have a time where there is not a large tournament going on that anyone can enter. Popular with most of the free roll players, the site offers some enjoyable aspects to the programming. Although the site, itself can appear rather chaotic with the great graphics collections that people as player icons. Poker Room has a variety of options. Of those include multi-table tournaments, as well as Texas Hold'em, 7 Card Stud and Omaha as well as a large number of assorted casino games. For those players worried about viruses, the Poker Room has taken care of this for you, there isn't a download is needed to game on the site. They have included a good selection of links where poker players are allowed to play a free roll with play money, which includes tournaments. Prima Poker is more of an association of poker sites rather than a single room and players rave about the minimal wait time before a game is available to play. With twenty-one sites from which they use to collect players for a game, it doesn't matter where you connected to the site from, there will be a game started. Full Tilt is another great site for playing poker online. Although the graphics may appear slightly childish, Full Tilt's interface can be a lot of fun, especially if the cards aren't being dealt as you would hope. With Team Full Tilt, this site boasts some of the best players in the game, including Chris "Jesus" Ferguson and Phil Ivey, this site has earned its bragging rights. A relatively site new to the online poker scene is Hollywood Poker. Unlike any other site, Hollywood Poker allows players to play a hand with some of their favorite actors including James Woods, the official spokesperson. The graphics aren't anything special; however, they do offer options allowing players to maximize their experience.

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Online Poker Vs the Planet of the Apes

Surely at one time or another everyone has witnessed a group of bourgeois canines playing anthropomorphic poker on one or the other of Cassius Coolidge's series of paintings. But the man's whimsical imagination wasn't quite as far removed from reality as one might like to think. Perhaps you believe that chips and chimps do not go well together and that it sounds like something out of a Douglas Adams book, but if you ever played online against someone who had a great-ape photo for his icon, don't be so sure it was just the excellent players irritating sense of online humor - you just may have lost a few thousand or more to an actual primate. If you thought using a stick to crack a walnut or a skull was the best an ape could do, in this early twenty-first century, when the world is on the verge of a Technological Singularity (think what an "intelligence explosion" can do to PC and online games), you, man or woman, had better think again. Primate Programming Inc has established that great apes (sharing 97% of their DNA with us) make efficient IT specialists. Individuals are employed by PPI, undergo training and offer their services to PPI clients for peanuts. A later PPI discovery was that the same employees, for purposes of pastime or secondary sources of income, are capable of being taught to play online poker, evincing particular talent for no-limit Texas Hold'em. If you still think this is a joke, please search "primate programming inc" on google. . They favor no-limit poker, PPI informs us, because of their proclivity for playful (or half-playful) displays of aggression. In other words, the apes are naturally great at aggressive bluffing. In no-limit games, a player has the possibility to bet all they have at any time - this requires risky, aggressive play and the ability to bluff. The anonymity of online games helps. There is no way to identify a player as non-human and human players confess loosing thousands of dollars (to players later officially identified) when someone who played the early rounds with near to nothing and consistently displayed weak cards would suddenly "bet big", have everyone call, and then - probably chattering with glee and typing with his/her toes - reveal aces. The primate-players' initial employment as computer programmers is not coincidental. It seems, according to PPI, that they independently develop programs which aide them during games. The nature of these programs has not yet been revealed. One thing is sure: "DrDestructo" and "ThePikerMan" could have a full-time professional (online) poker career, if only they wanted to. Outside the laboratory/office, they may neglect their training and prefer the old game of hurtling themselves at the bars of zoo cages and then grin their monkey grin at the startled adults and children. Still, as long as they are paid and fed regular, with bonuses, and are allowed to mate, David Sklansky and Ed Miller may need to update their No-limit Hold'em books in the nearest future. For the past several years, Norm McAuliffe, a Yale biology Phd and the scientist heading the research team behind the discovery of programmer apes, has been investing money and effort into a Primate Poker Inc, "hiring" profitable ape-players to play for money in rotating shifts, 24 hours a day. He has been quoted as saying: "I'm completely committed to this business model. It is reasonable to say I am "all in"."

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Convertible Poker Tables Work For Everyone In The Family

The fun of poker is unparalleled to those that love the game. There is the excitement of having a great hand, and the thrill of being able to bluff someone off of a big hand. There is the big pot craziness where everyone on the table is in a hand and the staggering loss when you lose a sure winner. The emotional ups and downs wreak havoc on our minds, yet we cannot seem to stop playing. Would it not be nice to be able to take that thrill and excitement home with you? Now you can with some of the most handsome poker tables available today.


One of the big problems with these fun games is that it is hard to please your spouse. There is a really good chance they do not want a poker table in their dining room, and you probably do not have an extra room to put a poker table. That is where these amazing convertible tables come into play. They work as both a poker table and a dining room table. They are made from solid oak and look so amazing you cannot even tell it is a poker table; but once dinner is over you simply remove the top portion and a lovely poker table awaits.
There are several of these types of tables available depending on your tastes. There are perfectly round tables and full size oval tables that seat up to ten players. All of them are built with solid construction with the best type of wood available. If you are always having big games at our home, then you may want to consider those larger tables. Either way the fun is exponentially higher when you use one of these convertible tables. The best part of all is that everyone in the family is happy.


Whether you are having a family get together with lots of food and conversation, or having an engaging game, you can have the best of both worlds with these convertible tables. They come in different colors of wood so there is definitely a table for every dining room you can think of. Do not let the fun of the exhilarating poker game pass you by because you think a poker table will not work in your dining room. With these great convertible tables your whole family can enjoy the advantages and clearly have the best of both worlds.